Biden for President – The Mad Writer

Possible Joe Biden Campaign Slogans

Imperceptible Change You Can Believe In
Make Phonographs Great Again
Get Real, Man
At Least I’m Not Trump
At Least I’m Not Bernie
Welcome Back Democracy, We Hope
Let’s Work With The Republicans
Compromise You Can Believe In

Biden’s Super Tuesday Winning Strategy

The Joe Biden strategy for winning an election

Before the election, your competitors drop out of the race.
Those former competitors endorse you.
Be sure that your only competitor is a crazy socialist.
Ignore that other competitor. She’s a socialist in disguise.

The Perfect Loser

Biden is the perfect candidate to lose to Trump. He excites no one. He stands for no bold change. All he can offer is a mythical past that’s different from the one offered by Trump. In the Biden mythology, Democrats and Republicans work together in perfect harmony. Deficits slowly disappear. Statesmanship and diplomacy come roaring back. The Supreme Court becomes liberal, and Fox News fades into the sunset. If this is your preferred mythology, despite all the damage that has been done to democracy by the Republican Party, then Biden is your guy. If you hate everything that Bernie stands for, then Biden is your guy. If you hate Trump, then Biden is your guy.

Biden is the non-smoking white-hat Marlboro Man. He’s America and apple pie. He’s not radical. He’s not a socialist. He offers no pie-in-the-sky promises. In fact, he promises no pie at all. He does promise a few tweaks here and there, a kinder and gentler approach to scaling back social programs in the name of working with his Republican colleagues. He promises imperceptible change as the world self-destructs under the forces of climate change and neoliberalism.